webmaster
about a year ago
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill humour
webmaster
about a year ago
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it...
- W. C. Fields humour
webmaster
about a year ago
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope humour
webmaster
about a year ago
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
- Joe Namath humour
webmaster
about a year ago
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield humour
webmaster
about a year ago
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge humour
webmaster
about a year ago
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible
- George Burns humour

webmaster
about a year ago
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt humour
webmaster
3 years ago
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
- Rodney Dangerfield humour
webmaster
3 years ago
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
- Rodney Dangerfield humour
webmaster
3 years ago
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
- Rodney Dangerfield humour
webmaster
3 years ago
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
- Rodney Dangerfield humour
webmaster
3 years ago
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
- Rodney Dangerfield humour
webmaster
3 years ago
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
- Rodney Dangerfield humour
webmaster
3 years ago
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
- Rodney Dangerfield humour






© 2018 GGW Fun