webmaster
12 months ago

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
webmaster
12 months ago
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. 'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
webmaster
12 months ago

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
webmaster
12 months ago

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
webmaster
12 months ago

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
webmaster
12 months ago

Little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
webmaster
about a year ago
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal age

webmaster
about a year ago
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..
- Phyllis Diller age
webmaster
about a year ago
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill humour
webmaster
about a year ago
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers politics
webmaster
about a year ago
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it...
- W. C. Fields humour
webmaster
about a year ago
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope humour
webmaster
about a year ago
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
- Joe Namath humour
webmaster
about a year ago
Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan money
webmaster
about a year ago
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield humour






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